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Ok, I am having a mommy meltdown moment…maybe it is just a meltdown moment in general I am not sure, but I am definitely having a moment of sorts.
I woke up tired, which is normal for me and my son told me his belly hurts and my husband told me that I should take him to the doctor’s. Not that I don’t love my son – but my first thought was – “ok, how am I going to handle that and get all my work done today. ” BAD mommy thought, I know. And to tell the truth, I really don’t think my son is sick…again BAD mommy thought I know. For a little background information, 2 days ago my son was sitting with his buddy at lunch, his buddy gave him a piece of the fruit from his lunch…my son ate it….then his buddy told him it would make him sick. He quickly followed it up with that he was kidding though.
My son has anxiety, so telling him such things makes it happen. He got home from school, threw up two times and took a nap. The only thing my son knew that was it looked it an orange, but that it wasn’t an orange. I then proceeded to email his teacher, email the principal and googled every term I could think of that would be a fruit that you could drink the juice from (that’s what his friend told him) but you could not eat. I found nothing. Surprised? I called Poison Control even – they thought I was crazy. Finally, my mom suggested that I google the friends name and see if I could locate the phone number – so I could ask what my son could have possibly eaten.
Surprisingly enough, that worked! I called the mom and she told me it was a Tangerine. It was bought at Walmart and her son ate the rest of it at lunch, she had one today, and so did her other son. A tangerine folks. I spent 4 hours freaking out over a tangerine. Don’t get me wrong, I am insanely thankful that there is no such fruit out there that you can drink the juice out of and not eat…and that it is not at my son’s school. But, really. I know…BAD mommy thought. I don’t have anxiety, so I won’t claim that I understand it, but I do understand that it can be a very hard thing to deal with. So, I hugged him and told him all was well. Today, I am taking him to the doctor because he still thinks there may be an issue. I pray that there isn’t. In fact, I am pretty darn sure that there isn’t, but I am going. And my first thought was, I don’t wanna.
Know what else I don’t wanna do? I don’t wanna look at the CEMENT floor in my living room anymore. The one that is filled with cracks and looks horrible. About 6 weeks ago I made the mistake of saying that I would like new carpeting…we pulled it up and there was a TON of cracks. And because my dear husband has a background in construction and engineering we are having a million tests done, having 4 million inspectors out to look at them…and for WHAT?! In hopes that someone will magically make it all better? It’s NOT going to happen! We have been here for 7 years – no one cares if I have cracks in my floor – and if they are bad…well, then folks expect us to PAY more to fix them.
And to top it off…my parents are here in a week. Not that they care that I have a cement floor in my living room…but I DO! I don’t want a CEMENT floor anymore! Is that to much to ask?!
I have a ton of dishes in the sink and part of me doesn’t even want to load the dishwasher because that means in an hour I will have to empty it. I have clothes that have been sitting on my couch for days waiting to be folded…and dare I mention that I have had a load sitting in the dryer for days too? They will be a wrinkled mess, but I am not caring today.
So, maybe I will get up and go for a ride and enjoy this beautiful Florida sunshine…but wait…I can’t…my truck is OUT OF GAS!
Maybe a walk?
Well, that’s my Mommy meltdown for the day…I am off to find some chocolate. And I know that a workout to blow off steam would be much better for me. But, let’s be honest…that’s not happening today.
Oh wait…to top it all off, the UPS guy just came and my dog peed. I have a German Shepherd that pees every time he barks. Yes, every time. And he barks at just about everything. So, I think I will enjoy my chocolate before cleaning up dog pee. Yes, I think I will…..
Venting session always needed! Hope you feel better
we all have meltdowns, and it definitely helps to vent- ESPECIALLY WRITING! I used to keep a diary on ,y computer and would just type random thoughs/frustrations when I was having a bad day… I should start doing that again.
Know that you are an amazing mom with an amazing family who loves you to death.
Maybe make a “MAGICAL” Smoothie for Steven that will take out all of the poison from his belly….
. If the boy at school can tell a white lie to create fear, Mom can tell one to make it all better.
Love you
I’m so glad you’re human like me! I had a good laugh reading about your meltdown… not laughing AT you, definitely WITH you, my friend! You’re awesome and everything will be great… tomorrow! 😉
I’m glad it made you smile – smiling always make me feel better too – and I am totally looking forward to tomorrow. xoxo
Oh girl, hang in there. You are always always lifted in prayer. Isaiah 40:31 says:
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Rest in that promise. I know I have to cling to it almost every minute of every day as I chase my toddler out of the toilet for the 50th time, and clean up the 17th puppy accident in an hour, as well as try to parent my 4 kiddos well. Love to you!
Hey Tracy, On the the treadmill at work and read your post. I am glad Steven is okay and sad that the boy at school said that to him! I hope you enjoyed your chocolate:) We all have bad days and it definitely helps to talk to a friend. Please let me know if you ever want to exercise at night. I have been walking a lot and would enjoy your company. I hate that we live 8 houses away and never see each other.
How awesome is it that you can use the treadmill at work! Thank you for your wonderful words – and yes, we will definitely have to figure out walk nights…we are way to close together to never see each other! p.s. Chocolate was YUM!
Thanks r making me smile! I can totally relate! I am home sick today itch no kids and feel I should bean every room in the house while they aren’t here. Instead, I am paying on my iPad and stumbled upon your post and I am reminded, it’s ok if we are all not perfect moms. Haven’t met one yet. Enjoy our chocolate today and I’m gonna go find some for me too!
Thanks Amy – yes, the chocolate definitely helped – make sure to enjoy yours too. And you’re right – I have never met a PERFECT mom…thanks for making me smile!
I feel like I am overwhelmed every day, so you are not alone. There is never enough time in a day to do it all, & that makes me anxious, especially at night. My son is the same way, so I get it. (He gets some of it from me) He’s probably fine, & you don’t have to feel bad about what your gut is telling you. Tomorrow is another day, & you will be able to tackle more after a good night’s rest. I have to figure out which college my son is going to by May 1. He either wants to go to USF or FSU, & we still haven’t visited either! I have to fit that into the next couple of weeks & that’s making me anxious. Ugh, it’s so hard to be a mom!
Thank you Wendy! Good luck on those college visits and make sure to let us know which one you decide on 🙂 And yes, being a mom is the hardest job EVER! Most rewarding…but definitely the hardest!
Dear Tracy, You brought back some memories, some that I dont really want to remember. Hang in there girl, I felt real bad for you. The peeling dog made me laugh to tears though 😉
I tell ya Joanne – the dog makes me crazy sometimes 🙂 I am definitely feeling better – thank you xoxo