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Dear Tennis Shoes,
It has been 4 weeks since I last wore you. Please forgive me.
I don’t know how it happened. I used to wear you 4-5 times a week. I paid attention to you. I was proud to wear you. I made time for you. I cared for you…I swear I still do! I used to pick out outfits to match you. I had charms that I happily wore on your laces to show my pride for our last run.
I have wronged you. Please forgive me. It’s not you…it’s me. I have no excuses.
Well, I could probably come up with a long list of excuses:
- I got busy
- The house is a mess
- The kids had more activities
- The kids homework got harder
- My living room still has a cement floor
- I have been doing too much
- The laundry never seems to be done
- My sink is still full of dishes
- Dinner has to be made
- Lunches have to be packed
It’s not you, it’s me.
Honestly, my life really hasn’t changed dramatically in the last 4 weeks, in fact I would say it’s about the same. I don’t all of a sudden have more dishes, more laundry, more meals to make, and more activities.
Do you want to know the truth? Well, here it is. I am discouraged. Discouraged to the point of acting childish. Sadie (my youngest) is 6 years old and I have weighed the same for 6 YEARS. I run, I bike, I swim, I Jazzercise, I watch what I eat. And I have not lost a pound. Not one folks. For SIX YEARS. Don’t give me the line that muscle weighs more than fat…I know that. Lord knows I have told that to myself a hundred times. But for six years I have worked my butt off…have run 13.1 MILES twice and not lost one pound. I have switched up my routines, I have done soooooo so much. And I am hurt. I am sad. I am sad that those tennis shoes haven’t given me one POUND off. So, I boycotted you, tennis shoes. I’m not saying it was right, but that’s what I did.
And do you want to know the kicker?! Someone asked me last week if I lost weight – they said I looked thinner! Normally that would be a compliment that would make me happy, but after knowing that I haven’t worked out in 4 weeks it just makes me MAD. Yes, MAD. So, my dear tennis shoes – I will tell you – I am MAD at you too!
I don’t understand why you don’t help me lose weight. I don’t understand what you may have against me.
But, I do understand that I am mad at me too. I understand that these 4 weeks I have not given me the attention I deserve. So, not only have I wronged you, dear tennis shoes, by ignoring you all this time, but I have wronged me. I know that when I wear you, I feel better about myself. When I wear you, I know I am giving me 30-60 minutes of me time. When I am wearing you, I am keeping myself healthy. When I wear you, I am a happier version of me. So, even though that damn number on the scale NEVER moves, I know when I wear you…I am doing what is right by me.
So I ask of you dear tennis shoes, please forgive me and know that I am aware of my ways and I am planning RIGHT NOW to right my wrongs.
Dear Tennis Shoes, I am sorry. Dear Tennis Shoes, it’s not you, it is me. Dear Tennis Shoes, please forgive me. Dear Tennis Shoes, I promise to be a better friend….a better me.
Dear ME, I promise I will try not to be so hard on myself. Dear ME, I promise to read what I just typed….